The Department of Psychology is the oldest academic department at Willard College. We date back to the foundation of the Willard Asylum and successfully transitioned from the Department of Mental Pathology and the Work Therapy Clinic when the hospital became a college. And so it is with great pride and joy that we announce our undying loyalty to the recently reinstated President Cotton. We reject the calumny and lies that have been spread about our beloved president who, through no fault of his own, was detained by the police of Costa del Tuyú along with his wife Cheryl Tina Faye Cotton (who was recently granted tenure in abstentia and will be running our Marriage Counseling Program). We note that at the time of their detention, imprisonment, and confinement to a psychiatric clinic, there were grave concerns about the legal procedures that took place, the the Cottons were without counsel, that certain court documents were not in English (due to the commission of the alleged crime occurring in Argentina). We also reject the allegation that in hiring Cheryl Tina Faye Cotton to our department we have in any way participated in, or been influenced by, any effort to curry favor with the now restored president. Finally, we thank the Board of Trustees for making the wise decision to rehire President Cotton. During his absence, the College has witnessed increasing insubordination from faculty and a general deterioration of morale. Likewise, during Cotton’s absence, many important initiatives have stalled out. Willard College needs President Cotton because President Cotton is Willard College. Without both together, there is nothing.
Professor Frank Metrazol, PhD