Human Condition Subcommittee Recommends Further Cuts to Willard College Humanities’ Programs, Courses, Faculty, Facilities, and Fundamentals

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Willard College Professor Denounces Another Willard College Professor

Dear (President) Cotton,

I respectfully wish to report a disturbing conversation that I had with a colleague, Shawn Chululu-Gutenburg, Professor of Communication, this afternoon in which he admitted that he is not reading students’ final papers and that he is assigning final grades in a manner that could be generously described as haphazard. Given the renovation of Willard College and the new regime following the down fall of ex-president Creedmoor, I trust that this report will be both of interest and utility as you purge the college of the sick residue of the former administration and bring us forward into the light and the glory.

Sincerely, Simoneque DuBoise-Trevoit, Professor of French Poetry