Graduating Seniors, Please check your email for an important memo concerning 2021 Commencement. The college has embraced Juche Philosophy and commencement this year will involve mass choreography of all students, faculty, and staff who will perform an elaborate dance and celebration for the Administration and Board of Trustees. The email will include the choreography you must learn, the uniform pattern that you will need to fabricate, and design patterns for the pompoms or other accessories. Practice for commencement will begin tomorrow morning at 6am.

In Solidarity with President Cotton,

 Special Assistant to Provost Vandergrind, Dr. Pousse de Fauteuil