Dear Willard Community,

The new Dean of the Willard College College of Medicine, Dr. Warren Cheeseburger, is excited to share with us the proper pronunciation of his name. His name is pronounced “Chessboro.” Please do not call him by the name for a popular American picnic food. Dr. Cheeseburger will serve as the first dean of the Willard College College of Medicine.

Thanks, Special Assistant to Provost Vandergrind, Dr. Pousse de Fauteuil

Dear Community, In nimble response to the latest financial and higher education thought leadering trends, while also expressing deep gratitude and humility to the Department of History, we are excited, and sad, to announce that History faculty offices have been moved to the sub-basement to make way for the new School of Realtors. To access the History faculty, please take the one functioning elevator to the Basement level, exit the elevator and head to the left down the long passage way past the janitors closets, the pile of old lead pipes and bricks, until you reach a heavy steel door. Before you go down the stairs, please turn on your cell phone flashlight because the hallway lights are not functioning (yet!) in that part of the building.

Sincerely, Louise de Guise, Public Safety and Animal Control Officer and Special Assistant to Provost Vandergrind, Dr. Pousse de Fauteuil