Dear Community, In nimble response to the latest financial and higher education thought leadering trends, while also expressing deep gratitude and humility to the Department of History, we are excited, and sad, to announce that History faculty offices have been moved to the sub-basement to make way for the new School of Realtors. To access the History faculty, please take the one functioning elevator to the Basement level, exit the elevator and head to the left down the long passage way past the janitors closets, the pile of old lead pipes and bricks, until you reach a heavy steel door. Before you go down the stairs, please turn on your cell phone flashlight because the hallway lights are not functioning (yet!) in that part of the building.
Sincerely, Louise de Guise, Public Safety and Animal Control Officer and Special Assistant to Provost Vandergrind, Dr. Pousse de Fauteuil
Perhaps the institution could supply some candles to brighten the sub basement.
Candles are a fire hazard. Willard has had plenty of fires. Don’t play with fire.