Dear Campus, Following a months long investigation by campus security, it was determined that now former Provost Brouxet‘s dissertation, “Songs to a Beneficent State: Corneliu Vadim Tudor and Socialist Poetics” was entirely lifted from a book published in 1978 by Tudor’s close friend and confidant, Elena Ceausescu, Ph.D, M.D, J.D., M.A.T., etc. This news is all more troubling since Willard College had invited Mr. Tudor to serve as our Poet-in-Residence for the recently created Write Willard program. Unfortunately, Mr. Tudor’s untimely death had cut short those plans. Still, the College feels a deep connection to Mr. Tudor’s work and life.
We wish former Provost Brouxet, whose tenure at Willard College was both short and unforgettable, the best in his future endeavour as Dean of Students at Sylvester University, an institution that has received many a former Willard College administrator!
What a sad memo to have to write on such a beautiful morning.
P.S. Below is Tudor’s greatest poem!
“Femeie creatoare – Slavà Tie’ (Hail, Woman Creator) “Creative woman, bless you! The nation’s love envelops you, Scholar and political personage, and mother at the same time. You, strong role model, of charm and wisdom Will be always felt and followed Be forever happy, you, eternal symbol Of Romanian heroines which you have become Forge onward at the side of the country’s Hero Through the great epic of the Romanian people!”
And his last poem!
“Come, Death, let’s have some coffee,
I’ll make it flavoured and strong
Just drop your heavy scythe, I beg thee
And thy cloak so strange and long.
Please, do sit down on this armchair
I don’t mind if you smoke,
Whom are you mourning, dear,
Why do you cry and choke?
The coffee is so hot, oh my,
Don’t hurry, it might burn.
Let my star twinkle in the sky,
If I die, what do you earn?
You came to grab me face to face.
Too great a honour, you see,
Of the entire human race
Why do you want just me?
Let me read your coffee grounds
To have your fate foreseen.
There is some hardship that abounds
But you are smart, you’ll win.
You’re out of money again and again.
In this, you are like me,
Why would you be my enemy then?
I understand you thoroughly.
People applaud you from far away
They struggle, yell and race.
Turn around, Death, please, if I may,
What is there in your trace?
Now you’re my prisoner, my dear,
I wanted you to know.
That of you I have no fear,
I’ve poisoned your joe.
Are you an administrator? Do you feel that your communication skills could be improved? Do you find that your memos are all sounding dull, repetitive, and derivative of the memos written by the person who held the position before you? Do you find that the message of your memos gets lost, misunderstood, misconstrued, or rejected by the intended audience? Do your memos make the intended audience react with anger or disgust? Have you run out of ways to announce that a consulting firm has been hired?
If the answers to any of these questions were YES, please take a look at Willard College’s Masters of Arts in Administrative Communication. This course of study builds on our well-regarded Bachelor of Arts in Language Management and graduates of that program will be given special consideration in their applications. We anticipate high levels of interest, especially because awarding-winning journalist Robin Leach has agreed to serve as the program’s first dean.
As always, with great sincerity, Provost Pillow
Dear Willard College Faculty,
President Cotton has tasked me to host a series of Free-Form Faculty Forums where faculty can freely voice their opinions about matters concerning your professional experiences and faculty governance at Willard College. I know that I am new to Willard College and that I arrive on the heels of some difficult experiences. And at the forum I look forward to being able to tell you a little bit about me. Perhaps we can become friends and colleagues, IN THAT ORDER! When you sign up to attend the meeting your name will be placed in raffle jar. A lucky faculty person will win a parking space next to mine for two weeks!
Interim Provost Pillow