Dear Campus Community, It is with a heavy heart that I announce the departure of the invaluable Provost Gauleiter who has accepted the presidency of Sylvester University. A tireless advocate for the restructuring of our administrative apparatus and the efficiencizing of our teaching functionalities, her tenure here has witnessed massive growth in key sectors of the Willard College operation.
We consider ourselves fortunate, however, that Provost Gauleiter’s consulting firm, Gauleiter, Gauleiter, and Sons, has agreed to guide us in the arduous process of identifying a suitable replacement. If anyone who can find an efficient and loyal replacement for Gauleiter, it is Gauleiter, Gauleiter, and Sons.
Best, President Henry Cotton
Willard College 
masterful efficiencizing…now spreading to sylvester. stupid question, but where is sylvester? FL?
I know an amazing history professor at Ithaca College who would be perfect as provost at Willard…
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