Dear Willard Community,

Our faculty profile for the week features Dr. Fran Framm, Economics. Since arriving to Willard College a decade ago, she has taught all of her classes in the swimming pool’s deep end. Flotation devices are not allowed. Because class is in a swimming pool, students cannot take notes, Dr. Framm cannot use a chalk or white board. The acoustics are terrible. Sometimes she submerges and talks under water. Exams are also done in the swimming pool and students use kickboards as desks. Points are deducted if the exam gets wet. Another example of teaching excellence!

Who will we feature next week? Send us your suggestions!

Provost Thwart

Dear Willard Community,

We wish to express our gratitude to former Provost Lying for many years of loyal service to President Cotton. Sadly, the College has decided to go in a new direction and a new direction always requires new leadership. We wish Provost Lying the best in his future endeavors and that he can quickly clear his name in a court of law. Provost Thwart has taken over former Provost Lying’s office, staff, and responsibilities.

Some of you may know Provost Thwart as a much beloved professor of Economics. His principle theoretical contribution to the field was his 1999 essay, unpublished, “Do Consumers Exists?” In that essay, which led to his being granted tenure here, Thwart argued that consumers do not exist. People buy things. But they are not consumers. They are buyers. But they aren’t always buying. But they are always people.

Please be on the lookout for a message from Provost Thwart where he’ll explain the new direction Willard is taking.

Sincerely, President Cotton

Ever been curious about headbands? Do you like creating signature clothing accessories that can work as leisure, high fashion, athleisurewear, sports, or just because you want to wear a headband?

Francisco Marshall Zanz, a creative first year student who is triple majoring in Clown Studies, Didgerirdoo, and Theory, as spent most of the semester studying the history of headbands under the tireless tutelage of Felix Drubb.

Please bring your own materials, beverages and snacks, and forty dollars in cash. Zanz does not have a the capacity to take cards at this point.

Sincerely,

Felix Drubb, Art professor