Willard College takes another step forward, reaching above and beyond standard “best-practices” as they relate to college finances, enrollment management, and campus facilities as we join RCI
Weeks, the world’ premier Time Share corporation. This is a classic example of building a new brand through collaboration with a brand pioneer. Details to follow
Vice Provost of Financial Affairs and interim-General Counsel, Dr. Glutina Sucre
Former Provost Gauleiter and temporary interim-President of Willard College
We welcome Dr. Gorka to the Willard College campus for the upcoming academic year.
Willard College has no comment at this juncture.
Dear Willard College Community,
When you come to campus on Monday be advised of the new Traffic Circle at the center of campus. The installation of this fuel saving device follows on the footsteps of the elimination of personal vehicles from our soon to be carbon-neutral campus.
We thank Mr. Spicer for his 57 minutes of service to Willurd College and wish him good luck in his future endeavors. There will be reception for Mr. Spicer and his wife Glydia Spicer this afternoon in the common room of the Egas Moniz Student Center. Gluten-free ice cream will be served by administrators. Bring your own bowl and spoon if you do not like eating ice cream from a cone.
Sincerely, Willard College Board of Trustees
We are pleased to announce the hiring of Sean Spicer as Media Relations Provost. Mr. Spicer is leaving a highly successful and much publicized career in Washington, D.C. His first task will be to manage the unfolding story of the missing Willard College college tour group. Mr. Spicer comes highly recommended from his last position.
The Board of Trustees
Dear Vice Provost of Financial Affairs and interim-General Counsel, Dr. Glutina Sucre
and Former Provost Gauleiter and temporary interim-President of Willard College
At approximately 2pm yesterday, a Willard College college tour went missing in the woods between the Charcot Dining Hall and the lake. In addition to the guide, there are approximately 24 parents and prospective students lost in the woods, or perhaps drowned in the lake. Aside from trying to locate these people, the College is working on a public statement that reminds the public that everyone on the tour had signed a document promising that neither they nor their heirs, family, or friends, would sue on their behalf should anything untoward occur during the tour. Briefly, this incident is neither our fault nor our legal responsibility. Therefore, our efforts to locate these unfortunate, and possibly already dead, individuals should be lauded. Our statement does not mention the growing problem of feral dogs and hogs in the countryside surrounding the College, a matter that I believe we are close to resolving once the county grants us a sufficiently relaxed “poison permit.”
Director of Public Safety, Sidney Cullather