Dear President Cotton, Herewith, we announce that the offices of Vice Interim Provost Lionel Brouxet, Interim Vice Provost Candy Martin and Associate Assistant Vice Interim Provost Fulgenze deBaptiste have formed a new unitary office, hereby declared to be named The Provost Triumvirate. Into this new office shall accrue all separate powers hitherto invested in the three above mentioned offices. The Provost Triumvirate accepts under its charge all matters academic, financial, athletic, sanitary, judicial, and promotional. Moreover, and therefore, the Provost Triumvirate is charged with the powers of police and security on Willard College campus, and in the perimeter as we determine fit to maintain the safety and security of all who either reside or employ within said grounds. In the interest of ensuring a peaceful future for our campus, The Provost Triumvirate will be holding summary trials of any and all individuals involved in recent disturbances, with exceptions for those granted a priori clemency during, or before, the outbreak, of previously mentioned disturbances.
Signed, The Provost Triumvirate
Et tu, Brute? I’d watch my back, if I were you, President Cotton – or should I say President Bombax?
Dr. President Cotton is unavailable at this time for comment or response. Please direct future correspondence to the Office of the Provost Triumvirate. Sincerely, The Office of the Provost Triumvirate
[…] [sound of Police and Fire emergency vehicles]. The Provost Triumvirate wishes the Class of 2015 a [inaudible]. Please join us later at the Willard Museum for some […]