Dear Campus Communities,
Gas odourant injection facility located at mainline valve #7 on Dampier to Bunbury Natural Gas Pipeline (near Dampier, Western Australia) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The question on everyone’s minds these days has been: What are all the construction equipment and industrial vehicles doing on campus? The short answer: Willard College has leased a number patches of campus to one of the nation’s premier natural gas and oil companies. Can Willard provide both a high quality education and premium quality natural gas and oil? Is it safe for our students to have a major extractive industry active on campus? Do we have cafeteria capacity for the additional 300 men who will be stopping in for lunch every day? Yes, we’ve planned for this moment, and Willard is ready to once again show America what a college can be.
Best, Henry Cotton, President
Willard College 
The Bunbury pipeline???? What would Oscar Wilde say?!
Dear Dr. Neil, I wouldn’t worry about Oscar Wilde. After 15 years as an adjunct in Biology, Speech Pathology, and Recreational and Leisure Studies, he retired. Henry
Once again, a tip of the hat to the President. I wonder if I could offer a modest suggestion built on his insight: Speaking of gas, I believe that the US and some other government would pay a pretty penny to find some place to store the gas (well, truth be told, poison gas) coming out of Syria. I bet you can even find some way to pump it down those fracking holes and kill two birds with one stone (OK, not the best choice of phrases, but you get the idea).
Dear Mr. Volk, I don’t tell you how to do your job, so please don’t tell me how to do my job. But that is a pretty good idea. My only concern…won’t the poison gas rise up out of the fracking holes? Is it safe? Best, Henry
President Cotton: Perhaps Willard could provide quality education ABOUT premium quality gas and oil. A partnership with Corning Community College’s “Natural Gas Training” course could be in order: http://www.corning-cc.edu/business/corpcourses/occhlthsafety.php
CCC does good work.