Dear Faculty in the Institute of Human Studies (formerly Departments of English, Anthropology, History, etc),
After years of fundraising, sending out for bids, starting and stopping construction, changing our minds, sending plans back to architects, having the state order a work stoppage to assess the environmental impact on the campus wetlands, conducting intensive asbestos abatement, rebuilding after the two fires, counter-suing the plumbing subcontractor, and locating several hundred misplaced receipts, we finally can announce that the new Institute of Human Studies Sustainable Educational Systems Complex is operational. Faculty will move in next week!
Please have your offices packed up and emptied by Sunday.
Best, Dean of Facilities, Dr. Guy Quetel
P.S. Remember to renew your elevator and bathroom passes by the end of next week.