Dear Campus Community,
After a series of incidents, Dr. Pousse de Fauteuil, special Assistant to Provost Vandergrind, is seeking new opportunities not at Willard College. We wish him well and thank him for his eight months, three days, nine hours, fifteen minutes, and 43 seconds of tireless service for which he received little acknowledgement or thanks.
Provost Vandergrind
Willard College 
Hey! You can’t dump Pousse! Your gonna lose your readership, I promise you! He was the will inside the Willard, the cherry on the sofa, the push on the wagon (tho’ I acknowledge that he was never actually “on the wagon”!)
Outrageous