Dr. Lusitania Glüm, Director of Marketing and Promotion, Introduces her Team and Visions, and Uses Boat Metaphors to Inspire

Dear Willard College Folks,

As the new director of Marketing and Promotion, first allow me to thank Dr. VanderHook Danish for his years of service as Assistant Director. We are currently reassessing his work history and utility. Meanwhile, allow me to introduce the team that will be guiding the rebrand and repurposing of Willard College. Please make sure to welcome them when you see them around campus. They have been carte blanche to enter your classrooms, offices, and other work and leisure spaces with full authority to record (visually and auditorily) as they deem necessary to complete the mission.

Andrea Doria, Titanika Berg, Edmund Fitzgerald, Felicity Ace, Gene Grafspee, and Achille Lauro will right the course of Willard College and guide us through the difficult waters that are higher education in 2022.

Our first task is a 360 review of faculty. We see faculty as the weak link in the functioning of the college. They have not pulled their weight and do not understand their vital functioning as marketeers of the institution. They have served to suppress the college’s brand and diminished overall outward facing positivies. We need to all pull together to get the boat moving in the right direction.

Buckle up, pack some snacks, and find your life jacket because it is going to be quite a ride.

Sincerely,
Lusitania

4 thoughts on “Dr. Lusitania Glüm, Director of Marketing and Promotion, Introduces her Team and Visions, and Uses Boat Metaphors to Inspire

  1. where can I see this movie??  CDA

    Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPad

  2. and what does Titanika Berg say about all of this. ________________________________

  3. Grace Sac Rifice

    Faculty are our greatest expense. As a business, we need to economize. Sure, most intro courses can be outsourced to asynch online providers.

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