Dear Willard College Team,
Earlier this evening, we received reports of multiple fires igniting over the course of half an hour throughout campus. At 11:05pm, President Cotton’s parking space was engulfed in a conflagration. Ten minutes later, Provost VanderGrind’s butterfly collection, housed in his office, was burned beyond recognition. Close to midnight, Dr. Cheryl Tina Fae Cotton’s vintage 1968 Mustang exploded, shattering the windows of the residence she is no longer sharing with Dr. Cotton, temporarily, while they work through some issues that are of a private matter. Local authorities have been contacted, and at present, we have no reason to believe that this is a criminal matter.
We will continue to update the Team as new information becomes available.
Dean of Public Safety,
busy times at institutions of higher learning. I hope this is not a distraction to the administration of the learning environment