Dear (President) Cotton,
I respectfully wish to report a disturbing conversation that I had with a colleague, Shawn Chululu-Gutenburg, Professor of Communication, this afternoon in which he admitted that he is not reading students’ final papers and that he is assigning final grades in a manner that could be generously described as haphazard. Given the renovation of Willard College and the new regime following the down fall of ex-president Creedmoor, I trust that this report will be both of interest and utility as you purge the college of the sick residue of the former administration and bring us forward into the light and the glory.
Sincerely, Simoneque DuBoise-Trevoit, Professor of French Poetry
Willard College 
Being a scholar of a real topic that matters in real life, Shawn doesn’t have time to lose on triviality and saves his energy and skills to run the Human Condition Subcommittee in charge of downsizing the Humanities departments.
Please forget my beloved Josephine. As an economist, she didn’t have the opportunity to learn her way around words. In no way did she mean that I actually didn’t read students papers with immense care, perspicacity and awareness.
Good point!
That subcommittee is doing great work!
This article is misleading. The real question should have been, what was Simoneque doing outside of the language caravan AGAIN? Was she trying to use the good microwave to bake one of her pathetic gratins?
We are working to replace the caravan’s microwave
This would be greatly appreciated. I just spotted La Simoneque lurking around the Business Royal Suite and Kitchenette AGAIN.