Alarming Discovery while renovating the former Humanities Building

greek statue

Dear President Cotton, During renovations on the old Humanities building, which is being repurposed for the new Department of Administrative Science, workers uncovered a previously unknown sub-basement office area. In the space, they encountered a group of bearded men in suits and ties, and several older women with their hair in tight buns, working behind manual typewriters, surrounded by large and dusty books.  The crew was able to determine that these people are the Willard College Classics Department. Apparently, when the program was terminated ten years ago, an email was sent to the chair. She did not know that she had an email account. Not knowing better,  they continued coming to work, wrote conference papers, prepared lectures, gave classes to no one, engaged in often violent internecine departmental policy debates, factionaled, microwaved their soup, and waited.  What were they waiting for?

I seek your guidance on how to proceed.

Dr. Larry Gross, Dean of Facilities



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