Dear Willard College Faculty and Staff,

I am thrilled to announce that Willard College will be the first college in the United States in the past 15 years to LOWER its tuition. Effective AY 2013-14, tuitions will be cut across the board by 20%. Needless to say, the announcement was met with applause from all quarters. The national media have been contacted, so please expect calls from reporters in the next week. While this is not Princeton offering free tuition, we feel that the move places Willard College in an extremely advantageous position in relationship to both comparable institution, but also will allow us to compete for tuition flows that are normally directed to more competitive and prestigious institutions.

We came to the decision  following a two year cost-benefit analysis by the highly regarded Heritage Foundation. Instrumental in selecting the Heritage Foundation was their recent research on the cost/benefits of prison privatization. This exciting growth sector offers an important model for Willard College given their track record of reducing costs and growing revenue.

So how do we recoup the revenue loss from offering a 20% tuition reduction?

In part, the plan for Willard College is premised on decades of research on consumer behavior. We now know  that the same consumer who hesitates to spend a large sum of money in a single purchase, will often, if conditions are correct, spend the same amount of money in purchases spread out over a long period of time. Moreover, surveys suggest that these sorts of consumers will spend without worry or care.

With a nod to a number of highly successful retail industries, as well as countries attempting to get out of the red, Willard will impose a regimen of hidden  fees, fines, and add-ons. Amenities currently provided free of charge, will now come at a cost. These include senior week activities (with an additional fee for the end of year tradition of jumping in the Charcot Fountain), towels at the Athletics Center and Aquatics Stadium, cable, wifi, pillows, blankets, etc. Over the summer facilities staff will remove all water fountains and replace them with Dasani bottled water vending machines. In the dining halls, deserts will not be included in the meal plan, but can be purchased at industry-standard prices. Parking rates, which have in the past excited student complaints, will be raised nominally, but we will add charges each time a student wishes to take their vehicle off campus. These are just a few of the examples of changes to campus that will welcome students in the fall.

We are also following the Heritage Foundation’s recommendations for continuing to cut our costs. To that end, all functions outside of academics and athletics will be managed by one of the leading prison management companies, CCA. This leader in the industry will manage and maintain dormitories, dining halls, the student clinic, our on-campus rehab and counseling center, laundry, and recreational activities. CCA will also operate the Willard College Office of Public Safety. By outsourcing, we anticipate savings that will more than off-set our tuition reduction.

With the present financial plan of action, which complements our work to realign departmental mission statements, we are confident that by next year’s commencement, Willard College will be standing tall among its peer institutions.

Sincerely,

President Henry Cotton

P.S. Willard College is pleased to announce a new learning partnership with Florida Atlantic University. I have worked closely with President Mary Jane Saunders whose work selling the naming rights of the FAU football stadium to GEO, Inc. has won her accolades for visionary leadership.