Provost Pillow faces criminal charges

Peter_Lorre_in_Quicksand

Dear Willard Community,

It is with no small amount relief that I announce that after an exhaustive internal audit of President’s Special Funds, we determined that large sums of cash were missing. I appointed my Vice President for Media Relations and Internal Affairs Claude Confabuloso, to look further into the matter. Vice President Confabuloso came to the determination that the funds had been illegally removed over the course of over three years by Provost Pillow. The Sylvester County Sheriffs’ Office was notified and after reviewing the documentation collected by Vice President Confabuloso, took Provost Pillow into custody. He has been charged with felonious embezzlement and faces up t0 ten years in federal prison. While at present, we are not at liberty to discuss the exact amount stolen, how Provost Pillow accessed the President’s Special Funds, or what personal factors may have driven someone whose almost year of service at Willard College has been otherwise unimpeachable, I can say that we are busy creating a slate of promising individuals who will be considered to temporarily serve as provost until a time when we can offer the position to a qualified candidate. I also wish to convey my deep gratitude to Vice President Confabuloso, whose investigative skills allowed law enforcement to act decisively.

With relief that our Willard community can move forward from this situation,

President Cotton

3 thoughts on “Provost Pillow faces criminal charges

  1. my question is: is confabuloso accounting for whether the average of the embezzlement distributed over the three years is more than the average increase in discretionary spending on special funds programs and experiential and transformational projects over the course of the last year? but indeed it may not matter. so good that willard can move on……

    • Dear “P”, Willard has added another tab to its focus menu: existential learning. But your question begs other questions about Provost Pillow. The guy got what he deserved and he won’t last long in federal prison. The key for us is that you do the crime you do the time.

  2. […] happen. Also, although he is no longer with us, we wish to extend deep gratitude to former provost Pillow, whose dedication to laying the groundwork for this project was critical. We wish him well in his […]

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