Dear President Cotton, After a string of emails from “Chip,” it looks as if he may be blackmailing us. He wrote: “I am available for consulting, if interested I will send you a fee schedule.” In a follow up email, “Chip” wrote: “I live five hours from any airport, and I only travel by Greyhound bus. By my calculations, it should take about 48 hours to get from my home in [deleted] to Willard. Once I’m there, we can talk in person about my ideas concerning the actualization of the Podule System.”
How shall I proceed?
Provost Confabuloso
Willard College 
Provost Confabuloso is lying. I am totally willing to take Shortline or Peter Pan buses as well. I will say that I have the magic key to success for the Willard franchise. But feel free to ignore me and continue your downward spiral, it’s your loss.
Confabuloso is a liar, but his contract isn’t up for another year