Dear Senior Leadership Team Members,

President Cotton has raised an important issue concerning snacking, and eating and drinking more generally, during our daily meetings. Aside from the distracting noise of slurping and crunching and chewing, we are finding the conference room littered and stained with juice, coffee, chip crumbs, little shreds of lettuce, bread crusts, and so forth.

After a month long study of the issue, the Decorum in Meetings subcommittee has come upon a solution. Please purchase immediately a sippy cup-snack tray as pictured above. This will consolidate snack foods and drinks and will reduce both the mess and the noise.

Sincerely and Loyally on Behalf of President Cotton,

Provost Lying