Dear Senior Leadership and Board of Trustees,

As we ponder the multiple threats now emerging to continued survival of Willard College, those being 1)the demographic cliff, 2) the possible elimination of the Department of Education and with it all those sweet supports to higher ed, 3) the skyrocketing cost of room, board, and tuition and 4) the cratering of our endowment, it is incumbent upon any responsible leadership team, to develop a worst case scenario plan. What follows is such a plan. This is to remain confidential. Please share with no one.

“There are only so many lifeboats: A Plan for Staff and Faculty Reduction to Align Declining Budget with Continued College Operations”

What follows is a synopsis and key points. This is the order in which employment terminations will take place.

1. Faculty in Humanities and Arts (those who are left) will be asked to quickly and quietly vacate their offices, dropping of their keys and laptops, with security at the West Entrance
2. All Student Services Staff, including Dining Hall employees will remove themselves at the earliest moment possible, and do so in a manner as unobtrusive as humanly possible.
3. Maintenance staff, except those responsible for maintaining the power grid, should not report to work upon receiving their notice of termination and thanks for their service to the college
4. Bursar and other financial staff will self-remove as their names are called. At President Cotton’s discretion, those staff with special expertise in bookkeeping practices unique to our institution, will be kindly asked to carry on under the direct and discrete direction of said President Cotton
5. The service of provosts, associate provosts, deans, associate deans, assistant deans, and their staff will no longer be necessary.
6. Director of Public Safety will turn out the lights on his way out.
7. Athletic staff will hold a last practice.
8. President Cotton shall remain in his office, in the dark, waiting for bank officials and law enforcement to remove him, by force.

This list is not comprehensive. President Cotton reserves the right, with the coordination of the Board of Trustees, to remove people from the above this, or to add people to the list.

Dr. President Henry Cotton